Here's a quick post to spoil your lunch - The folks at ageprogression.org have simulated a photo of what Britney Spears will look like at age 36. Taking into account her booze and pills lifestyle, and a steady diet of Popeye's and Ho-Hos, the results are...well, they aren't pretty.
Take a peek at a larger version (plus an even scarier photo for age 46) at The Superficial. But don't stare too long.
Pete Doherty might be a whore, but at least he's a high priced one. Apparently the Babyshambles frontman snubbed an offer to become a model for lastseason.com that would have paid him $10,000 to become its face. It's not that he had a problem shilling for a lame clothing line - He just wanted $60,000 a day. Considering that Doherty claimed an income of just $58,300 for his touring and releases in 2007, this seems like a bit of a reach, doesn't it?
Then again, last weekend Doherty played an acoustic set in his home for a pair of American fans for a cool $30 grand, and just $200 for another private party. That's an awful lot of wiggle room. Guess it depends how sober the guy is when you ask...
We rarely pay much attention to Moby's animal-lovin', tofu-eating agenda - But the video for "Disco Lies" has us seeing the issue in a whole new light. PETA, you've found your latest scare tactic. All it took was a giant, pissed off and pimped out chicken, enjoying a tasty human leg dinner with a couple of his hoes.
Check out the clip after the jump, and remember, Last Night might not be available until 4.1, but that eight minute dance mash-up is still up for grabs over at RCRD LBL.
The video for Kanye West's "Flashing Lights," the 4th single of his Grammy-winning Graduation LP, is both perplexing (they don't even both to explain why the clip's heroine needs to drop drawers and slink around in her undies) and a little disturbing (the clip ends with Kanye tied up in the trunk of a car, on the receiving end of a shovel to the head), but we like this song. Plus, we love the guy, but if anyone occasionally needs some tape across the ole' pie hole, it's Kanye West.
Check out the clip after the jump
Is it sweeps week already? Amy Winehouse will reportedly move in with former reality stars and erstwhile (we hope) addicts The Osbournes after she leaves rehab. Now we just need a crazy wedding or an evil twin and we've officially jumped the shark! Who knows what kind of shenanigans this substance abuse supergroup will get into, but something tells us that MTV will be there to chronicle it all.
Now magazine reports that the singer is planning to stay at a
guest cottage in the grounds of the Osbournes' mansion in Chalfont St
Peter, Bucks where Kelly Osbourne and father Ozzy believe the retreat will help Winehouse's recovery. Yeeeah.
Arcade Fire might still be on our shortlist of favorite acts, but seriously, these dudes are starting to creep us out. The gothic feel of Neon Bible was cathartic and oftentimes brilliant, but the grainy new interactive clip for "Black Mirror" looks more like an outtake from The Ring than a music video.
You're friends with Bruce now - how about a nice trip to the beach next time?
Props to Dr. Pepper's marketing dudes for tapping YouTube's little Barry White and "Chocolate Rain" singer Tay Zonday for the soda's new Chery Chocolate beverage, but couldn't they have done a little better than just adding "Cherry" to the front of the song? That's just some lazy creative. Plus, "This is the web, and it's going to murder your TV." What's that all about? A dude that sounds like Cleveland from Family Guy is trying to intimidate us? Dr. Pepper, I think you need a new prescription.
Continue reading "Tay Zonday Makes it "Rain" for Dr. Pepper" »
Hey all, to celebrate Eli Manning saving his job in the 4th quarter today, we've got a quick Sunday night mp3 two-fer. One track is exactly what you'd expect, the other brings us at least three steps closer to the apocolypse:
(1) As previously-reported, Jack Johnson delivers his semi-annual cure for the winter blues this February with Sleep Through the Static. Well last week Brushfire started streaming the first single, "If I Had Eyes," and even though the sound is a tad more produced than we'd like to hear from the new James Taylor, the mellow, sing-songy vibe still puts us in a good mood. As opposed to...
(2)The 1980's claimed many a musical victim and even some of the most revered artists of the 60's and 70's struggled to get through, credibility in tact. But this "lost" Brian Wilson *gulp* rap song (recorded during one of his "troubled" periods) still has us shaken up, nearly 48 hours later. Proceed with caution friends.
"My name is Brian and I'm the man; I write hit songs with a wave of my hand."
Yeah. And it goes on like that.
Dear Kevin,
"I know we haven't been on the best terms lately, what with that Charles Bronson movie and an unnecessary second pedophile role after your great performance in Sleepers, but I think it's finally your time to shine again. The Closer might win Emmys, but can your wife save an entire town? I think not. So dance Kevin Bacon. Dance like you've never danced before. Argyle's townspeople need you."
Love,
Sonic Slang
Wow - Prince really is a dick. We'll probably get sued for that one, but it's true. How else do you explain this legal standoff with his stubbornly loyal fans? Sure, we've heard of artists protecting their rights (Metallica, we still love you) but this goes above and beyond, and sounds an awful lot like censorship. You'd think a dude who flashes a 50 foot phallic symbol at the Super Bowl would be, you know, against that.
To make matters stranger, in response to the lawsuit asking Prince fan sites to "cease and desist all use of photographs, images, lyrics, album covers and anything linked to Prince's likeness," three sites banded together to form Prince Fans United and fight their purple oppressor. After days of back and forth mudslinging, word is the two sides are ironing out an agreement as we speak. But we have a feeling the guy's burned too many bridges to expect much love from here on out. Especially considering, umm, the lack of good tunes for over 15 years.
You know those Jersey boys that every year push for Bruce Springsteen to run for office? Bet they're wicked pissed.
According to Page Six: "Jon Bon Jovi could be planning one day to run for governor of New Jersey. That's why he's keeping his house in Red Bank, even though he and his wife, Dorothea, and their four kids have moved to SoHo."
A curious story popped up from the AP today that was actually lamenting a lack of original music being released for films these days. OK - This is all well and good in theory, but when you back it up by getting misty-eyed over "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing," "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" or (Jesus H!) "My Heart Will Go On," are we really supposed to then turn and curse out albums like the Garden State soundtrack? In the wake of Jay-Z's American Gangster-inspired near-masterpiece, this is a helluva time to reminisce about bland power ballads that couldn't (or at least shouldn't) sniff a critic's top 100 list without Bruce Willis piloting a rocket ship behind it.
Here's an idea: How about somebody starts writing good cinematic music instead of overly-sentimental elevator schlock, and maybe we'll stop changing the channel during that "Best Original Song" Oscar presentation.
Oh my dear lord. Ah well, at least it should be better than Flavor of Love...Wait, desperate women vying for the affections of a clock-wearing, semi-retired rapper who shouts nonsensical grunts and wearing a viking helmet with his giant gold grills, or Coolio reading the kids a bedtime story. Yeah Booooy! Sorry Coolio, a Fantastic Voyage that ain't.
One of the inherently appealing things about Ryan Adams is that for all his occasional bluster, he has little problem changing gears and playing the putz instead of lovelorn troubadour all the time. Case in point: The latest completely ridiculous mini-movie to pop up on YouTube is titled Cardinology. The plot is pasted below (with likely drunken misspellings preserved):
"life and times of feature u.s. psych rock zombies, the Cardinals. CARDINOLOGY...the study of guiar astrology and jam technology. And with songs even."
Let your inner geek flag fly Ryan! Be sure to stay till then end for Little Red Ridinghood's nemesis, the Death Star and what sounds like a new tune from DJ Reggie. Enjoy after the jump.
In what is probably one of the most unlikely (and to many, unneccesary) new LPs to come in 2008, the B-52's will release their first batch of new material since 1992's Good Stuff. The long-silent Georgia band told the RS Rock Daily, that rather than be a nostalgia act (a la Steve Miller Band), they needed some new material to hit the road with. The resulting disc, to be called Funplex and due in stores around February, is allegedly inspired by New Order's Get Ready. Hmm - The B-52's were never that far removed from the electronic/new wave scene...You know, we actually think they have a chance of pulling this off. How about a double-bill with Scissor Sisters?
Check out a live cut of new (and actually pretty catchy) track, "Juliet of the Spirits," after the jump.
Music videos are nearly as important, sales-wise, or as hip with the cool kids as they were in the heyday of MTV, so it’s always fun to see a band go out of its way to create something unique. !!! just dropped a video for “Yadnus” the new single off Myth Takes (available via Warp), that features: a VW Beetle, dancing go-go girls and lead vocals from talking roadkill that likely represents the recently departed John Pugh, who left the band to devote all of his time to Free Blood.
Continue reading "Former !!! Member Becomes Roadkill in New Video" »
So the new Ryan Adams & The Cardinals EP dropped today and it's rather excellent. But for those of you that thought Ryan has played it a little too safe on the MOR-leaning Easy Tiger and the acoustic Follow the Lights, we highly suggest you check out the series of bizzaro YouTube clips he and the band have uploaded over the last week or so. Were these recorded pre-, or post-sobriety? Check out our two favs after the jump.
Dude, wow. Not to apologize all over again for sounding anti-Sigur Ros (NPR already did plenty of that), but this is seriously the worst interview ever. Wowzers. Sigur Ros was in town to screen the awesome-looking Heima at the New Yorker Festival. Let's just hope the audience didn't have too many questions. See the clip after the jump!
If you can get through the entire pitch for Snaplayout (a MySpace profile editor) from MC Hammer without laughing, we owe you one pair of parachute pants.
In what constitutes the most unnecessary greatest hits package in memory, Time For Heroes - The Best of the Libertines will hit stores on December 4 in the U.S. via Rough Trade. It's not that we don't dig The Libertines, but considering the band has released just two albums so far, a hits disc seems a bit premature and more than a little greedy. Hey Doherty, did the price of smack make a big jump this year?
Stuff your computer screen full of Spidermen, floating skulls, dancing bananas, ice cream cones, Christmas trees, puppies and Elmo, mix it all up and set it to some sunny acoustic pop. It sounds like the lamest personal website of 1994, but it's actually The Sea and Cake's oddly alluring new clip for "Coconut." Are we crazy or is this the best video of 2007?
If this turns out to be true, we can't WAIT to see the next edition of Conan O'Brien's "If They Mated"...
via SFGate.com:
"Rocker Courtney Love is reportedly dating Kate Moss' rocker ex Pete Doherty. The couple was spotted kissing and cuddling over lunch in a Wiltshire, England, pub. It is believed the former Hole frontwoman was visiting the Babyshambles singer during his spell in rehab."
Couple that disaster with recent rumors that Doherty will move in with Pogues frontman and fellow goofballer Shame MacGowan, and the penning of a new Amy Winehouse tune, perhaps we should change the name of this post to "Pete Doherty Trying to Commit Suicide."
Further proof that we're in the wrong business and the latest sign of the apocalypse: Previously mocked Britney superfan, self-proclaimed "queen of complaining" and all around nutjob Chris Crocker has, in the wake of his tears-fueled rant against the fallen popstar's naysayers, scored his own reality show.
via Variety:
44 Blue Prods. has inked a development deal with Chris Crocker, the Internet superstar whose tear-filled defense of Britney Spears has generated nearly 8 million hits on YouTube in just one week.Plan is to develop a docusoap built around Crocker, a 19-year-old who lives with his grandparents in Tennessee. Even before the Britney clip, Crocker had developed a large Net audience via numerous video performances posted on MySpace.com.
Maybe it's the four shots of Nyquil talking, but that new James Blunt song ain't too shabby...
Wait, what?!? OK, we're clearly hallucinating - Back to bed kids. Regular, Blunt-free posts to resume tomorrow, we hope...
Know what's funny? We didn't make a single sarcastic post about Britney's VMA disaster - maybe the girl's weave was on too tight, maybe the camera does add 15 pounds and maybe MTV was in fact just cashing in on what they already knew would be a train wreck - but this guy/girl deserves every bit of mockery the blogosphere can dredge up. Please - someone tell us this was just a joke:
Animal Collective has never really been our bag of tricks at SS, but with a tour just kicked off and a new LP on the way next week, we thought it high time we gave the band another shot. "Peacebone" is, predictably, some weird shit. But the video (below) is ...well it's some weird shit too. Eh whatever. We'll keep trying.
Who woulda' thought we'd actually have follow-up news on our Mission: Man Band post from a couple weeks back? But it seems that despite being largely ignored by the station itself (have you any promos?), the VH1 reality series has raised the ire of one Georgia hip hop act claiming ownership of the name.
An "official" press release from the real Man Band:
"The Man Band, a Los Angeles based rap group is gearing up to take on VH1 over the rights to their name. "We copyrighted 'The Man Band' precisely for this reason," says Man o' War. "I mean with this show coming out we can't play a venue in LA without people expecting those assclowns from 'Sureshot' to be playing... They should be expecting THESE assclowns." Man o' War spreads his arms indicating his band, The Man Band."
"The VH1 series in question, titled "Mission: Man Band", takes four former boy band members (Chris Kirkpatrick of N*SYNC, Jeff Timmons of 98 Degrees, Rich Cronin of LFO, and Bryan Abrams of Color Me Badd) and puts them together to create a 'Man Band'. The real Man Band is composed of lyricists Man Lee and Man o' War, hype man Manchester, and DJ Manoptimis. They were formed in Samannah, GA on a "drunken dare" and have been based in Los Mangeles since 2004. They're currently garnering attention for their spoof of the VH1 series and a song written about a "Mission: Man Band" cast member's girlfriend."
"The Man Band's plight has been featured on VH1's own "Best Week Ever" website and Bravo among others: Best Week Ever, BravoTV
They're even receiving some attention from the LA/OC's Indie 103.1 radio station."
They claim to have won over at least one "fake" Man Band member in Rich Cronin of one-hit-wonders LFO:
"You ever hear of LFO? They did that 'girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch' song. Well, that guy's girlfriend loves us. She's awesome," explains Man o' War. "So we wrote her a song in the key of Rick Springfield. She loves it. There are comments all over our myspace. Myspace.com/manband."
The message in its entirety from Rich Cronin of LFO and VH1's "Mission: Man Band" reads: "The Man Band is the only real manband. We are not the manband and it should be known that we bow down to the Man Band. We are Man fans. Rich Cronin (Mission Manband) aka ( The Fake Man Band)"
Considering how hard the guys are pimping their own legal troubles to the media, it's hard to take all of this too seriously, and surely we all can agree that the real man band's chances out fame have done nothing but increase since the fake man band co-opted the name, well, I think we can take this all with tongue firmly placed in cheek...But the below video is funny either way. (And a hellluva lot more entertaining than Chris Kirkpatrick."
Check out more videos at Man Band's Youtube page, and help fight the good fight at MySpace.
"Regardless, we want to let you know that we will fight this with the vigilance and tenacity of Forest Whitaker. Godspeed."
Sincerely,
The Man Band
In case any of you fellow bloggers out there were hoping to pull down a Serj Tankian interview in anticipation of his upcoming solo release (Elect the Dead, October 23 on Serjical Strike), please be advised that the System of a Down front man is handing out homework.
via Rock and Roll Daily:
"Serj requests that all writers interviewing him provide their thoughts (in any form such as poem, drawing, etc.) on the following: “Define what civilization means to you and what would its ending bring to our world.”
Ummmm...yeeaaaah.
Anyway, Tankian released "The Unthinking Majority" on August 7 and surprise, it's some angry shit. Check it out below.
What is the music blogosphere going to do when Pete Doherty finally ODs, goes to jail or (hah) sobers up? These posts basically write themselves folks.
via Digital Spy:
"Pete Doherty's pet cat has been found to have traces of cocaine in its blood stream after being taken in for observation by vets, say reports."
Police went on to say:
“It is a police matter, so we cannot deny or confirm the identity of the man who had this kitten removed. But it is very important to protect animals from substances that can do them serious harm.”
Perhaps we should start with keeping them away from crack-addicted owners? Hmmm? On the upside, Kate Moss still seems to like the guy.
We all knew this day had to come sooner or later, but is there anyone out there that really believes the opportunity for an official "farewell tour" (and accompanying CD/DVD of course) is going to slip through the Rolling Stone's collective boney little fingers?
At least Ronnie and Keith are keeping it rock and roll right up to the end...
See, these are the perks of winning American Idol that you don't hear about during a Ryan Seacrest interview. Mom-approved country mega-star Carrie Underwood has revealed her true colors as a closet metalhead. Check her out below, rocking "Kickstart My Heart" with Vince Neil.
Lest we forget this new kinder, gentler, "not dumb" Paris Hilton once she flies the coop and starting flashing her naughty parts for Star photographers, here's an actual response obtained by E! Online, to one of the many fan letters she has been receiving since she hit the big house:
Eh forget it. So did you hear she slept with Jack Osbourne???
It looks like Mick Jagger doesn't have to worry about being the poster boy for geriatric rock just yet...
"Fred Knittle wears his belt up high. His nose is tethered to an oxygen tank, and on stage he's confined to a folding chair. From this unlikely perch, he's turning rock 'n' roll on its head."
Young at Heart's members range from 73 to 92, and the band turns out senior citizen-friendly versions of tunes by bands such as OutKast, Nirvana, Radiohead and Sonic Youth. Currently they are recording an album tentatively titled Rockin' At Heaven's Door.
If you'd like to catch Young at Heart on their next tour, be sure to get there early. Doors open at 4:15, directly following the early-bird dinner. Bring your AARP card for $1.00 off admission. (We kid, we kid. Rock on!)
We refused to devote any significant space to this issue, but holy crap, come on. Although, did anyone really think Paris would serve this thing out? LA will probably issue an apology and give her the key to the city, then she'll get all skanked up for the presentation while telling reporters how the experience "changed" her, photographers will pine for boobie slips or a crotch shot, Lindsay Lohan will crash the party drunk off her ass, and things will be back to normal. Phew.
We're not sure what, but August 24 definitely means something to all you Rage Against the Machine fans out there. The band has even created a new website to that effect, www.ratm82407.com, with an ominous countdown (seen below) ticking its way to late August.
The most likely result is some sort of new Rage release - be it a new studio album or, live release or as-yet-unannounced concert. We'll keep you posted as more info leaks.
The newly-reformed Rage Against the Machine has not performed since its Coachella appearance in April, but is slated for four July shows as part of the Rock the Bells tour.
For us, the music hipster's defining pop music-turned-car jingle moment had been when Nissan snagged Modest Mouse's "Gravity Rides Everything" back in 2004. But Wilco seems to have trumped that one by licensing not one but six tracks off recent LP Sky Blue Sky, for use the company's latest campaign.
The first ad, featuring "The Thanks I Get," appears below. Kinda cool actually. We never would have picked the mellow tunes of Wilco's latest for shilling Jettas, but it works here. Let the sell out backlash begin.
This CAN'T be true...can it?
A pant-load of websites are reporting that Mick Jagger, after being mocked by a former lover for having less-than-ideal equipment, tried to enlarge his manhood with bee stings.
The story is almost so ridiculous that we refused to mention it...but then we remembered that we're a blog. So let's rake the muck! But Mick, ahem, we're going to let you in on a little secret - you're one of the most famous rock stars to ever walk the earth. It doesn't matter how big it is.
In more predictable Stones news, Keith Richards just doesn't get the hippity hop, but he's still too cool for Johnny Depp.
Pete Doherty is starting to become a blogging institution. Right up there with Britney crotch shots and Paris Hilton DUIs, weekly posts about the Babyshambles frontman's drugs busts, court appearances, promises to get clean and subsequent wagon falling are as reliable as gravity. With that said, you'd think we might grow tired of these posts. Nahhh. But we do have one question: How MANY times can you get arrested in the UK without landing in the clink? Paris drives without a license and does 45 days, but Doherty's wrap sheet is longer than the line for the bathroom at Angels and Kings. Somebody lock this guy up before it's too late.
OK OK - Yes we're probably using the same headline as every other blog or website out there, but this news left us far too sad to be creative.
Hopefully we still have that Untitled Gorillaz Project to look forward too, but as for "pop records" that might be all she wrote. Although if you read between the lines, this might just be a case of Damon Albarn being his typically elusive, pain-in-the-ass self. So help the faith, monkey boys.
Spiderman 3 might be going indie, but a proposed musical based on the web-slinging superhero is going in a decidely different direction, drafting U2's Bono and The Edge to write original music and lyrics for the project.
via Billboard:
"...Marvel Studios is putting the pieces together for a musical on the Great White Way starring the popular superhero, which will be directed by Tony winner Julie Taymor, with U2's Bono and the Edge creating new music and lyrics for the project.
Auditions are taking place, and a reading is scheduled for the summer. No dates for a Broadway opening have been set."
To listen to tracks from the upcoming Spiderman 3 soundtrack, check out the official MySpace page.
The SS staff is too bust gorging on Cadbury Eggs to make any posts this weekend (we tried last year, and it took till the 4th of July to get the M&Ms out of our keyboards), but this video was worth a quick post.
Ever wonder if the Easter Bunny actually likes his job? Sure, it might not be as glamorous as music blogging, but would delivering candy ONE day out of the year really make you this bitter?
A short while after she played a our heavenly Mother in Dogma, we pretty much stopped paying attention to Alanis Morissette right along with the rest of the non-Canadian world. But here's a few things we did pick up: A couple buzzless albums followed, capped off by an acoustic Jagged Little Pill for the Starbucks crowd. Oh, and somewhere in there she dated Van Wilder. So SS is admittedly a little sketchy on the former queen of female angst pop. But could any of it have been even one-half as cool as this?
Generally speaking, we've never been too keen on taking pop bands and turning their albums/stories into gaudy Broadway musicals. Even though the theatricality of artists like Bruce Springsteen or Billy Joel clearly lends itself to a staged performance, who among us really likes seeing what often amounts to bad wedding band covers of our favorite songs? We're still curious about Stephen King and John Mellencamp's Ghost Brothers of Darkland County, but this has us even more intrigued.
via EW.com:
The Great White Way will never be the same: In an exclusive interview, Wayne Coyne, lead singer of the Flaming Lips, told EW.com that the psych-rock band will team up with acclaimed TV writer and show creator Aaron Sorkin to turn the group's 2002 album Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots into a Broadway musical.
If you're worried about a train wreck (so are we), maybe the presence of Tony-winning Des McAnuff (Jersey Boys, The Who's Tommy) will quell some of your fears. Whether he can delve deep enough into Wayne Coyne's acid-trip of a mind to produce something worthy of the Flaming Lips landmark meditation on love and death remains to be seen, but if Sorkin gets hopped up enough, he just might have a chance.
Well this is a disappointing start to our day. It looks like Christopher Walken won't be biting the heads off bats after all. Speculation that the actor would take on the role of Ozzy Osborne for an upcoming Motley Crue biopic have proved to be just that.
Crue bassist Nikki Sixx to MTV.com:
"I think [Walken] had a couple drinks and it got blown out of proportion," he hypothesized, adding, "I believe, as everyone else believes, that it's gong to be [cast with] unknowns."
Not that we're ones to talk, but some bloggers have waaay too much time on their hands. That being said, let's give credit where credit is due. This dude is, at the very least, a very dedicated loser.
Henry Rollins...meet the competition.
Instead of continuing to Party Till He Pukes, lovable headbanger Andrew W.K. is turning over a new leaf, and packing lecture halls in the process:
"He has been reading the works of the philosopher Martin Buber, among others, and contemplating consciousness. “I have been very into the idea that the only way the external world exists is by you observing it, and that the only way you can interact with that external world through that observation is to intend it to be,” he said, his eyes closed in concentration. He opened them to eat observably a strip of bacon."
-"Are You Ready to Listen? This Rocker Just Wants to Talk" via the NY Times.
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